Just Open Your Mouth

by Connie

Ask for Help

Years ago, when I was really struggling and my Life felt like it took SO much effort on a daily basis, I had an epiphany. It was so life-changing that I thought you might want to hear about it, too. Since it took me years to finally have this ‘light-bulb’ moment, maybe you could fast-track what I learned, and benefit, just by reading this.

I have always had this independent streak in me. I’d rather do it myself, even struggling if I had to. I knew I could count on me and I knew it would get done, the way I wanted it done. I don’t know if it is due to my birth order, my astrological sign, my innate personality, or what. The ‘why’ doesn’t really matter.

You know that old question, ‘What’s your best quality?’ because it’s also your worst quality? My self-determination and autonomy fall into that category. It’s one of my blessings and it’s also my cross to bear.

So, I was slogging through my Life, really feeling like I was ‘pushing water’, you know, trying to do the impossible, and it clearly wasn’t working. Every day felt like an effort, it took more energy then I could expend and it just didn’t feel worth it. It was all becoming too much. I kept feeling like there had to be more than this, or else generations before me would have chosen to end it all, a long time prior to my arrival.

I had been mulling over how to move forward with my Life, how to change it, because what I had clearly wasn’t working. Mentally I listed options available to me. I kept playing and re-playing my possible ‘to do’ list over in my head; making ‘change/adds’ along the way.

I stopped at the grocery store, to pick-up a few things, when this sweet, older woman, who stood as tall as my shoulder, approached me. She apologized for interrupting me, since I looked like I was deep in thought. She asked, ‘Would you, please, help me?’ I turned to her and smiled, ‘Of course, what can I help you reach?’ It felt good to be given the opportunity to help her. And all she did was ask.

Aha! All of the sudden the light bulb went off. I heard Angels singing. Out of the blue, it all made sense. When you feel stuck and you need help, you don’t have to go it alone. You don’t have to slog through it by yourself. All you have to do is ask for help.

How do you ask for help? Simple; you just open your mouth and ask. There isn’t any magic to it. It doesn’t cost anything. It’s completely free, (and if it isn’t free then clearly you are asking the wrong person for help) Just open your mouth. And ask.

It was a truly pivotal moment in my Life and in my personal growth. All that B.S. about being independent didn’t mean that I always had to do everything by myself. Asking for help wasn’t a sign of weakness; it was a sign of strength. For all those years, I had somehow inverted this basic concept, in my brain.

So, when you are feeling stuck, or you need help or support with something, anything, I encourage you to be specific and ask. At first it may feel weird, and leave you feeling a little vulnerable, especially to those hard-wired ‘Type A’ personalities. Like anything in Life, it gets easier, the more you practice. Just open your mouth; you’ll be amazed at what happens next. I know I was.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Heather July 8, 2010 at 5:48 pm

It’s hard to ask, but when you do you are so glad you did! I know, some really good friends forced me to ask for help a few weeks back and boy am I glad I did!

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Connie October 21, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Heather, ‘It’s hard to ask, but when you do you are so glad you did!’ Ain’ t that the truth, sister. I would like to challenge you on one point and that is that, ‘some really good friends Forced you to ask for help…’ Forced? Really, Forced? At best, I’m sure they ‘strongly suggested’ as well as pointed out that, ‘That’s what friends are for…’ After all, when you ask someone for help, you are Blessing them, by offering them an opportunity to be supportive to a friend. Connie

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