Which of These are You Most Afraid Of?

by Connie

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Halloween is a holiday observed on October 31st in 15 countries, worldwide. 

A traditional Halloween celebration includes a combination of costume parties, trick-or-treating for candy, touring haunted houses, sharing scary stories, and watching spooky movies.

It’s a holiday which preys on our most primal fears.  The arrival of Halloween got me thinking about topics most grown-ups fear

Studies show that most adults have anxiety over things that fall into three basic categories: 

  1. Money:  They fear they’ll never have enough money to live comfortably.  They’re afraid they’ll always live paycheck-to-paycheck.  If they do have money, they fear losing it.
  2. Weight:  They’re afraid they’ll never lose the excess weight they’re dragging around.  They fear the consequences of health issues they already have, or will have, due to their obesity. 
  3. Relationships:  They’re afraid they’ll die alone.  They fear being without friends.  They’re afraid they’ll never find that special someone they’re meant to be with.  If they’re in an unsatisfying relationship, they fear that they’ll live the rest of their life, never being completely happy. 

I’ll have to admit at one point in my life, I was obsessed and nearly paralyzed with fear over this very trifecta. 

I was broke, I was morbidly obese and I was in an abusive and loveless starter marriage. 

That wasn’t the worst of it, though. 

My greatest fears were that I would always be poor, I was never going to lose the weight and that I would never find anyone to love me.  I thought I’d live the rest of my life without friends, let alone a life partner who adored me. 

Rewriting the Outcome

Once my paralyzing fears brought any hope or dreams I had for my future to a complete standstill, I had an epiphany.

I heard the following quote, and it struck me to my core: 

‘Nothing changes if nothing changes.’

Nothing was going to magically push me off the trajectory I was on, unless I altered my daily world. 

It was up to me.  I realized I was responsible for my own Life. I had to change or deal with the fact that my life was always going to be more of the same.  If I was going to be self-actualized, I needed to take action. 

Making the Shift

The amazing thing was it didn’t take any huge, monumental shift to begin transforming ‘my life’ into ‘my Life‘. 

I started small. 

I took baby steps. 

I began making my life over with my first Gratitude Journal. 

It wasn’t anything fancy. 

I didn’t have the money to be fancy.  My first Gratitude Journal was a spiral bound notebook that was lying around the house. 

  • Broke or not, I wrote down all the things I was thankful for. 
  • Overweight or not, there were things I could appreciate in my life. 
  • The sunrise didn’t care if I was in an abusive relationship.  It started my day with a spectacular show of hope for me, each morning. 

I could choose to wither away in the small, hopelessness and despondency of my life.  Or I could dare to believe I could deliver myself from my dire straits into something greater then I could ever imagine.  I could choose to begin living my Life. 

The Ripple Effect

I was surprised to discover writing in my Gratitude Journal created a ripple effect of unexpected proportions. 

Once I began appreciating the things that were already present, my awareness of all the things I could be thankful for became more apparent.  My vision had shifted, along with my mindfulness. 

After becoming more appreciative, I also became aware of wanting to take better care of my body and my feelings.  For the first time in my Life, I was slowly beginning to realize that I mattered. 

A subtle shift had begun.  Unbeknownst to me, a much larger personal transformation was underway. 

My Life, Today

So what does my Life look like, now?  I’ve created my Life to be something greater then I could ever dream. 

I’m financially sound.  I’m the most fit I’ve ever been in my Life.  My Life is full of loving friendships.  Fun and laughter are part of my every day and I like, love and adore my best friend and husband, Steven. 

What about you and your life?  What’s your greatest fear? 

More importantly, what are you going to do about staring those anxieties down? 

Don’t you deserve to live your dream life? 

Remember, ‘Nothing changes if nothing changes.’ 

Isn’t it time to turn your apprehension into appreciation?  Why don’t you launch your own Gratitude Journal, today? 

I’ll help you begin. Let’s get started. 

Write this down…‘I’m thankful for being me.’ 

What things do you fear the most?  Do your fears fall into the top three categories I mentioned at the beginning of this post? 

What do you do to squash your fears?  Are there any helpful tricks to scare the monsters away that you’d like to share? 

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Katesa Wesche October 30, 2011 at 10:14 pm

excellent blog …I love this..it is so very true there are many things that we fear..but I like the 3 you have picked…Working slowly on some of those..But I do like the Gratitude journal…I can do that today….


Connie October 31, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Hi, Katesa,

Thank you for taking the time to write. I really appreciate your input.

I’m glad that you enjoyed this post and found it helpful. Yes, most of us, at one time or another are working on one of the ‘top 3′ fears. :~)

I’m pleased to hear that you’ll be writing in your Gratitude Journal. I’m sure you’ll get value from that.

Even the most bleak days hold some glimmer for us to treasure and hang onto, if we look for it and choose to see it.



Tina Tuszynski November 1, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Very inspiring story, Connie! I always try to tell myself that no matter how difficult it gets, there’s likely a ton of people who have it worse and still manage to live a worthy life. We only have one life and it goes darn fast, so we may as well take the bull by the horns and enjoy it! Love your attitude.
You might also like Tina Tuszynski\’s recent post..A Former Foodie and the Dilemma of Safe FoodsMy Profile


Connie November 1, 2011 at 9:25 pm

Hi, Tina,

Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to write.

Throughout my Life, Tina, I’ve also focused on how blessed I am, as well.

That’s one of the reasons I’m drawn to reading biographies and autobiographies. The stories of people starting with little and achieving greatness inspires me and spurs me on.

You’re right that time passes way too quickly, so its best to ‘Go for it!’ and squeeze as many experiences into it as possible.

My husband was encouraging me to sleep-in this morning and my response was, ‘There’s plenty of time to sleep when I’m dead.’ In other words, it was time to jump into my day and get my giddy-up, on.

I look forward to reading your post.



David Stevens November 9, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Hi Connie,
“Choice” is the power denominator in Life. When we go into “paralysis” over something or other we can choose to either do something about it or not, stay where we are or move on, learn or not to learn. It looks like you have made some wise choices, congrats.
be good to yourself


Connie November 9, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Hi, David,

‘Power demoninator’…I like the sound of that. Yes, I’m in full agreement with you about the power of ‘choice’.

Ultimately, it’s Always up to us. It’s our choice to make and our consequence to deal with. It comes down to accepting personal responsibility.

With personal responsibility comes personal empowerment.
You can get caught up in ‘analysis paralysis’, as long as you realize ‘no decision is still a decision.’

I think you may enjoy reading my post on analysis paralysis. You can read it here: http://thepowertolive.com/628/do-you-suffer-from-analysis-paralysis/

Thanks for taking the time to share your perspective!



Jimmy November 10, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Hi Connie,

Your story is a very inspiring one. I am truly touched. I needed to be, since I am basically where you are many years ago. My finances are in tatters, my relationship is tough but loving. I do not have a weight problem though.

I have done my journeying and have come out of my own self imposed trance of the walking dead in life. Now it is just about taking baby steps like you did. One step at a time and we will reach the moon right?

My biggest fear now is that all my hopes and aspirations will not come to bear or take too long to happen. Will I have the strength and mental note to carry on. I am just a human being right?
You might also like Jimmy\’s recent post..Our Common List of Emotions in LifeMy Profile


Connie November 11, 2011 at 8:27 pm

Hi, Jimmy,

I’m SO glad you wrote. First, let me assure you…You Can get there from here, Jimmy. I know you can, because I did. All it takes is baby steps and having a vision of what you want your Life to look like.

One of the reasons I’m compelled to write my blog is because I was SO miserable, before in my life, and I’m SO happy now. I truly Love my Life, every day!

If I can share some bit of wisdom or instill hope in others, as they find their way, I want to do that.

I’m going to encourage you to download my free e-book on Active Vision Boarding. It’s the exact same method I created and used to re-write the story of my Life.

I’m So passionate about sharing the information that I’m providing it to subscribers for free, because I know it works! I’m living proof that it works.

Once you download the free e-book, email me if you have any questions on how to begin taking your baby steps. I’ll be more than happy to help you.



Anna November 11, 2011 at 6:14 am

I think that there are really a lot of things that we are afraid of! And we just have to say them loudly and try working on them:)
You might also like Anna\’s recent post..Dental crowns – Is it worth destroying your teeth for?My Profile


Connie November 11, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Hi, Anna,

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate your support and input.

I like your thoughts on saying the things we fear loudly, so we take their power away and return the power back to us, by working on them. What a great concept.



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