Charlie Sheen’s Caution for People Pleasers

by Connie

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By now, most everyone has seen or heard of American actor Charlie Sheen’s recent Sheen-nanigans. 

Sheen has made himself the ring master of his own media circus, initiating radio and TV interviews, while using Twitter and the Internet to get his rambling diatribes out. 

At the rate Sheen’s going, he could teach Lady Gaga and The Kardashian’s a thing or two about self-promotion. 

I’ll admit I drove past the car crash.  I watched the first TV interview Sheen offered up. 

I wanted to hear what he had to say in his own words, before deciding if his hedonistic, narcissistic, misogynistic, megalomaniacal acting-out is a case of life imitating art, or vice versa. 

After viewing the Q & A, Sheen said one thing that really struck me, and it was this: 

‘I was ‘people pleasing’ for too long and when you’re ‘people pleasing’, your soul is dead.  

Because at the end of the day you’re left with yourself, and you think,  ‘I didn’t take care of myself, AGAIN!’ 

That statement resonated with me because I’ve been there.  Does it speak to you, too? 

‘…at the end of the day you’re left with yourself, and you think, ‘I didn’t take care of myself, AGAIN!’   

That quote connected me to a time when I felt defeated, instead of courageous, to a time when I led a fear-based existence rather than living a confident Life, to a time and place when I felt vulnerable and weak instead of feeling fiercely strong and empowered, which is the Life I live, today. 

I recall turning out the light each night, feeling like I’d broken my promise to myself, AGAIN! 

Night after night, I replayed the events of my day, to find I didn’t:

  • Stand-up for me,
  • Put myself first,
  • Take care of my needs,
  • Speak my truth; I didn’t use my voice,
  • Honor my body and give it what it truly needed,
  • Treat myself with love, honesty, trust, accountability and respect. 

I remember feeling alone, adrift and separate from everyone. 

Dennis Genpo Merzel, a Zen master, said: 

‘When we see our self as the center and separate from everyone and everything else, we have to continuously protect and guard this self.’

   Speaking from my experience, if I were to offer words of advice to Sheen or you, they would be: 

While feeling X, Y or Z may be your reality now, it doesn’t have to be your reality in the future. The choice is yours. 

What are you going to choose?  It’s completely up to you.  So, what will you consciously choose to do? 

I’m of the opinion that Sheen and his mind are dis-eased, but that doesn’t mean he’s without choice in his life, either. 

My heart goes out to Sheen, his family and his children.  This man is in such profound pain, it’s palpable. 

Listening to his rant reminded me of the precarious nature of our lives.  Each of our lives can change on a dime, at a moment’s notice. 

Ah, but if that’s true, that must also mean our lives can change for the better, as well as for worse, in an instant, as well. 

Many times, we get caught up in the drama of crisis while losing sight of that important bit of information. 

Yes, your Life can change for the better, just as easily and just as quickly, as taking a change for the worse. 

I feel empathy for Sheen, who is clearly troubled and struggling, but feels that everyone else is the problem. 

Sheen’s self-protection modus operandi is lashing out at others who, in his opinion, are clearly the cause of all his problems and concerns; he berates and castigates them while spewing his insults and condemnation their way. 

His are either the rants of a disquieted, drug-addled mind or a mind that is very sadly, unwell and dis-eased.  Either way, he’s in need of some serious help; the sooner, the better. 

Having said that, he spoke his truth, along with the truth of many others, by bringing his frustration and regret to light, in this one statement: 

‘…at the end of the day you’re left with yourself,  and you think, ‘I didn’t take care of myself, AGAIN!’

 Is it time for you to begin taking care of yourself

If not now, when exactly will you become your priority? 

After all, aren’t you the most important person in the world, to you? 

If you aren’t, shouldn’t you be?

If you like this blog and feel others would too, or if you know some ‘people pleasers’ who would benefit from this post, please click on the ‘share’ button, below this post, to email, tweet, or facebook ‘like’ it.  Thank You!

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