How’s That Working for You?

by Connie

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When I was in my mid- to late-twenties, I started to feel incredibly isolated and alone.  I was married at the time, but that fact only seemed to intensify my loneliness, not dispel it.  Married people were supposed to feel connected to one another, weren’t they?  It felt like nothing in my life made sense.

I realized that I was living a sequestered and disconnected life.  This over-achieving, Type A-personality had morphed into a dysfunctional discard. It was time to find the courage to ask myself some tough questions I’d been avoiding.

I started with a question Dr. Phil has been known to ask, ‘How’s that working for you?’  And there was only one answer…it wasn’t.

I realized that I was depressed; significantly, life-threateningly, depressed.  And I knew that if anyone was going to save me, it had to be me.  Because there was, literally, no one else around; that’s how isolated my life had become.

I awoke one morning to find I physically couldn’t get out of bed.  I decided, in that moment, that I could either continue living my life in the manner I had, or I would allow myself to be vulnerable and gather up even more courage to ask another question…to ask for help.

In retrospect, this was a very good decision.  But at the time, it opened the door to even more frightening questions.

I remember crawling out of bed with all the energy I could, and randomly choosing a social worker’s name from the phone book.  Lucky for me, someone answered the phone; a woman, a counselor.

She began asking me lots of intimate and hard questions, which I wasn’t prepared to answer.

I tried to beg her off; telling her I wasn’t comfortable talking with her over the phone.  She said, ‘Great, I’ve got my appointment book open. What time works for you, tomorrow?’  Feeling cornered, I hesitated.  I finally stumbled and told her, ‘You know, I don’t believe that will work for me.’

Fortunately, the therapist I called did not take ‘no’ for an answer.

It’s so easy, when faced with these tough, necessary, potentially life-changing questions to think, as I did, ‘You know, I don’t believe that will work for me.’

This is perhaps the toughest part of living a fiercely positive life: the courage to question.

  • How is my life working for me?
  • Am I satisfied with the quality of my relationships?
  • Am I getting what I want out of life?
  • Am I giving it my best effort?  Am I keeping it ‘real’?
  • Am I really taking charge?  Why not? What am I afraid of?
  • Am I taking responsibility for my choices?
  • What are some other options?
  • What changes do I need to make?
  • Who can I ask for help?

On this blog, I will share with you the many lessons and miracles that followed as I journeyed from despair to living my current ‘Fiercely Positive’ Life.

You don’t have to wait until you are out of options to make important changes and embrace your own power to really live the life you desire.

You can start now, by gathering up the courage to ask yourself a few crucial questions.

Here is the first one: What are you waiting for?

I’d really love to hear your answer.  Please tell me using the comment form below.

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